I feel that this revision process will be pretty easy. I know, for the most part, what I need to fix in my essay. However, I have the lingering suspicion that I am too confident.
AUTHOR RESPONSE:
What you should know?
- I forgot to put a works cited.
- My conclusion is garbage.
My weaknesses
- Terrible conclusion
- I feel my wording is redundant
- Run-on sentences
- Some of my claims lack depth
My strengths
- Unique structure
- My essay encompasses various genres in depth
- Thorough analysis of rhetoric
Peer Review Comments:
ReplyDeleteMake a more creative title
Make introductory sentence a little more grabbing
The conclusion is vague and irrelevant, but it's just a draft... rework it
I'd suggest putting which two or three genres you will discuss in the final sentence in your introduction
I like the pop culture reference to fight club!
Overall comments: make introduction more topical (with that last sentence), add a proper conclusion, good to go
Content Suggestion:
ReplyDeleteOverall the entire essay really was amazing in my opinion and so my suggestions are fairly minimal. I would suggest reworking the intro sentence just a bit- it’s too wordy with the repetition of the word “American” and it detracts from the rest.
Other than that, the only thing I would do differently is include the first sentence of the second paragraph in the intro paragraph. It would make for a strong thesis and a strong ending to a very well written into that would really give the reader a sense of direction and understanding of what the main focus of the essay is.
I think this feedback could help improve what is already a very good essay. I think just the small refinement of the intro would better set the initial tone of the work and leave no doubt in the reader’s mind what the essay is about.